Just Two Guys on the Molson and Josie Show Today

Micah and I will appear on the Molson and Josie show today at 12:30 PM to hype our upcoming interview with the radio duo and to promote Movie Geeks Club among other things. Tune in and check it out.

Tune your dials to AM 970 WMAY at 12:30 PM.

Our interview with Molson and Josie will air on Access 4, Friday at 3:30 AM, 11:30 AM, and 8:30 PM.

Henry Nelch and Son

I would like to thank Henry Nelch and Son for all of their help with my recent (and ongoing) backyard landscaping project. The man who helped us purchase our two tons of gravel (recycled concrete, for the green in me) and our two tons of sand was very friendly and helpful. He discussed our measurements and helped us be certain we were ordering the correct tonnage. Their indoor showroom is amazing, and they have just about everything you could possibly need for a landscaping job.

But most importantly, I would like to thank them for having a kick-ass dumptruck driver, let's call him Tim since I didn't get his name. There was some concern on my part about the delivery of sand and gravel because we only have one place on our property where we can dump tons of gravel and sand: in our driveway. But our driveway is long and narrow, and it runs right alongside our house. We've had problems with other delivery drivers getting into our driveway, and even some of the pickup truck drivers we know don't like to use our driveway.

When Tim pulled up this morning, I ran out to greet him. "Can you get up the driveway?"

He looked at me confidently, "That ain't gonna be a problem."

"Okay," I said. "Well get up as far as you can."

I eventually had to stop him because he was almost to our garage at the end of the driveway. He dumped the gravel, left, and returned with the sand 20 minutes later. Again, he threaded the needle with perfection and dropped our sand without breaking a sweat. He was a friendly guy who went about his work professionally and skillfully.

Tim exuded a confidence, a sureness of his abilities that I admire and envy. Thanks, Tim, for being a kick-ass dumptruck driver! And thank you Henry Nelch and Son for making our landscaping project go as smoothly as possible.

Springfield's Most Beautiful Attraction

My wife, Aubrey, has recently started a Springfield Daily Photo blog. Today, she's captured one of Springfield's most glorious accomplishments. Forget the Dana-Thomas House. Forget the ALPLM. Forget that shabby old Capitol Building. Folks, we have the General Lee Baron.

For the last year or so, I've seen this car sitting on the street, just off Fayette between MacArthur and Walnut. I love this car. Every time I see it I laugh to myself. Just a great sense of humor from this car owner. I wish I had the imagination and the drive to actually do something like this myself. Unfortunately, there aren't a lot of cool things you can do with a Pontiac Vibe.

Cue nostalgic Dukes of Hazzard video:



FYI Denver Pyle is the man.

What Some People Will Do to Raise Money for Spiritual Truck Stops for Brazilian Truckers

Stop me if you've heard this one. A priest attaches himself to hundreds of helium party balloons and lifts off into the air to raise money for a spiritual rest stop for Brazilian truckers. He's wearing a helmet, a thermal suit, and a parachute. He's equipped with a GPS device. He is now missing. No one has a clue where this guy is. Authorities are optimistic, however, that Rev. Carli will be "found alive and well, floating somewhere in the ocean."

This is one of those stories that just seems absurd. Apparently, the world record for this stunt is 19 hours in the air. Rev. Carli, before disappearing, reached a height of 20,000 feet. 20,000 feet! That might not seem like a lot, but the guy was being dragged skyward by party balloons. Effing party balloons, man!

Earthquake?

It is just before 5 am and I was just rattled out of bed. For some reason, I had been up for 15 minutes and catching an "I Love Lucy" rerun. I ran to the window to check to see if the wind was blowing but it was calm. The rattling intensified and Amy woke up. We had two decorative candles fall off the wall and the pictures were swaying a bit. We ran down the stairs to check on the glasses and china. They were rattling but secure. This went on for 15 seconds or so. It seemed longer. Our dog Sadie was freaked out. About 2 minutes later there was a little more rattling. Much less intense. Must have been an aftershock. It was probably a very small quake in comparison to what is experienced in other parts of the world but I've never felt one like that here. I'm waiting to hear news if we're crazy or not.

Interview with Molson and Josie

Micah and I were back in the studio last night to tape a new show. We interviewed Johnny and Josie of 97.7 Alice and 970 WMAY. It was a great interview, and I hope it will be entertaining to watch. We asked them about the GROMAL blog as well as Johnny's "interest" in Jessica English. They were great guests. This show will air in the next couple of weeks. More details on the air date will follow.

Short Film Shooting Complete

A big thanks has to go out to Ryan, Gretchen, Nick, and TJ today for enduring the terrible weather today and helping us out with shooting our short film, The Courier. Ryan directed and ran the main camera while TJ ran the B-roll camera. Nick ran audio and carried around a boom mic for nearly 8 hours, and Gretchen helped us with our lines and was our consultant for making our blood look realistic.

It was a hard shoot, with the weather being so nasty. We endured cold temperatures, rain, and sleet. The film follows our two characters, Snorri and Hamilton, through a pretty difficult journey, and the weather allowed us to really follow their journey in our own physical way during the shoot. By the end, Micah and I were both physically drained, and I think it will really come through in the final cut.

The day was by no means easy, but it was a lot of fun. We have been waiting to make this film for a long time, and now it's finally going to happen. We've been working on lines for weeks, and we managed to get through most scenes without too much trouble. The first couple of takes of each scene were a little rough, but we always managed to get a few takes that turned out really well. I think we'll have more than enough footage for Ryan to put together a great-looking film.

This will only be a short film, weighing in at around 15 minutes. We're hopeful that we can get it entered into the Route 66 Film Festival this year and generate a little buzz. We have a feature-length script that we'd really like to shoot, but I can't imagine the time and energy that would take. We had 14 pages of script today. Our feature has over 120 pages. Yikes.

As soon as Ryan is done with editing and post-production, we will debut the movie on an upcoming episode of Just Two Guys. We'll plan on interviewing Ryan and Nick about their roles, as the two of them have been a big part of getting the movie made. Then we'll show the film.

I wish I had some pictures for you to see of the day, but I didn't take a camera along. We had a lot of props, and I didn't really want to spend too much energy documenting the experience while we were trying to concentrate on shooting.

Pissing in Public: The Biggest Problem Facing America?

Alyce Lyle of Access 4's Biblical Poetry sheds light on one of the big problems in today's society: pissing in public. Not only does Ms. Lyle give us a number of personal anecdotes about the problem, but she also gives us a 15 point list defining the reasons men piss in public. Then she shares 9 poems with us on the various aspects of this national epidemic. People, forget about terrorism. Forget about recession. Forget about this ongoing presidential race. Forget about drug abuse, child abuse, elder abuse. We have a problem in this country that we need to address: men pissing in public.

Reasons Men Piss in Public

1. No respect for the Lord God
2. No water in the home
3. No self respect
4. Drunk
5. No home training
6. Lack of knowledge
7. No respect for male gender
8. No common body control/Incontinent
9. Stubborn
10. Lazy
11. Make “tough” statement—Mr. Bad Guy
12. Convenient
13. No regard for law of land
14. Gesture of fun
15. Medical problems

Ms. Lyle's first poem is about men pissing in open fields. As you can read, men, it doesn't matter if the fields are plowed or unplowed. Pissing in open fields is wrong.

Pissing in Open Fields

Some men will walk across
A cornfield in the State of Illinois
And piss in the open field
From State to State men will
Openly piss in open fields
It makes no difference if the fields
Have been plowed and/or unplowed

Some men will see the open fields
Providing them opportunities to
Piss openly in the fields
What is appealing about the
open fields? Ask the men
They are the ones pissing openly
In the open fields

One could easily say the open fields
Presents no distraction for the piss
Therefore the water can flow without
Any hindrance
Others could say that pissin in open
Fields equates to the ego part of the man
Stating I want to do it my way

The second poem is entitled "Pissing on Highways," and it is about the disturbing trend of men pissing in cups while traveling or along the highway.

Pissing on Highways

Its good to travel or take a vacation
Stopping for bathroom breaks
Is common nature in travel
But what if your male driver pulls
To the side of the highway and piss?
What if a passenger brings a cup along
To piss in during your travel?
What do you do?

What a terrible position to encounter
But there you are faced with men
Pissing in cups and on the highway
During your travel experience
Take a word of wisdom and face
The fact these do not have any respect
For you, for themselves and/or the law
Travel no more with these people

This next poem is targeted at you guys who thinking pissing on each other is funny. Well, get it straight men, pissing on someone else is never funny. It is not a game, and it is wrong. Your body parts are never meant to be used as toys or game pieces.

Pissing on Another

Men are good game players
Regardless of the game’s nature
Yet there are some that fail to
Recognize a game
Some believe that pissing on one
Another is a past time game

These men need help and lessons
In social decency
They fail to realize that their body
Parts are never intended to be used
As toys and game pieces
So why do men piss on one another?

Men master this game without
Any guilt and/or shame
They regard neither God nor man
It is common nature to them
They laugh and joke
As the piss fall upon another

Okay, guys, do you like to piss in bed or on the floor when you're just kicking it around the pad? Well then this poem is directed at you. You need to start paying attention to your pissing signals.

Pissing in Bed

The human body is like a machine
It gives signals right early
For its every function
One main signal it gives
Is the pissing signal
The healthy male body signals clearly
When the body needs to piss
The God given signal is like a red flag

Then why do healthy men piss
Upon their beds or upon their floors?
Why do they not obey the body
Pissing signals—
That comes right early?
The whole body knows when it
Is time to piss so why do men piss
In their beds and upon their floors?

Okay, you guys, pissing in public is one thing, but this next poem is targeted at you sick bastards who think it's cool to whip it out and piss when you're in a crowd of people. This would apply to you guys who think its perfectly acceptable to pee in Happy Hollow while your waiting for your children to get off the Scrambler.

Party/Carnival Pissing

It is party time
It is carnival time
There are a lot of people
People are everywhere
It seems like there is no
End to the people
They come and they go
But I have to piss

What do I do?
Like some men—I piss
In the crowd of people
Because the people are everywhere
Some say pissing in a crowd
Is considered public indecency
But I have to piss
In the eyes of the law

Have no regard for your own personal property? Then this poem is targeted at you, sicko!

Pissing in the Yard

Have you ever seen a man
Piss in his own yard?
Look my sister
Some men will piss openly
In their own yard

They mow the grass and
They will piss in their yard
Day and night the neighborhood
Will witness from time to time
A male neighbor that will piss
In his yard

So what is the point of this poem?
My sister the poem says clearly
That some men will not regard
Their own personal property
The poem clearly states that some
Men have no sense of decency

If you live in a building of two or more floors you've more than likely pissed out an open window. The urge is just too great. You have a desire to send a signal across the nation with your piss.

Pissing Out of Windows

Some men will piss out of windows
Especially if a building is
Constructed with two and or more floors
When this is done it sends a signal
Across the nation that these men
Have no self-respect

As a rebuttal one may say that
The nature of men will cause them
To piss from open windows
What theory do you believe?
Is it lack of respect or male-nature?
Is this a hard question?

Most homes have a bathroom
So why do men piss from windows?
Can they not find the bathroom?
Ah! Some men will piss out of a
Bathroom window
They found the bathroom

If pissing on others isn't your thing, maybe your stubborn ass likes to piss on yourself. Then this poem has your number. Look, no wonder test scores are down across the nation. Our kids are too busy pissing on each other and themselves to focus on something frivolous like tests.

Pissing on Self

Some stubborn children and adults
Take the liberty to enjoy some
Unseen, unspoken pleasure
By pissing on self
Some students will engage in
This pleasure from classroom to
Classroom and teacher to teacher
They urinate in classroms to
Gain a tid-bit of attention

This false attention gained through
Pissing in the classrooms
Gains the school staff and students
Undivided attention
Stubborn adults and students glory
In pissing in their clothing
This sense of false pleasure flows
Over into all aspects of their lives
And the pissing goes on

Do you hate nature? Do you piss on the trees that our very God planted? Then this is the poem for you.

Pissing on Trees

Men pissing on trees are similar to
Dogs pissing on trees
Ever take a dog for a walk
When he is ready to urinate he will
Find a tree to do so

If the tree could talk he would
Probably tell man and beast to find
Another place to piss
Ah! What is the difference between
The pissing gesture of man and beast?

Why do men piss on trees?
Your guess is good as another
Old and young men all piss on trees
They will piss on the trees our God
Created and planted

Now that you know all of these behaviors are wrong, men, maybe you can put a stop to it and make this world a better place once and for all.

To catch the whole video, click here.

All poems are the property of Alyce Lyle. I am sharing them here to spread the word about this terrible problem.

A 100 Mile Foot Race?

My friend Travis is running his first 100 mile race this weekend at McNaughton Trail in Pekin. Travis has been seriously running for only a couple of years. He started with a 5K and has since moved up quickly, running his first 50 miler last year.

To learn more about Travis, visit his blog here. He has also produced three podcasts about ultrarunning and what it takes to prepare for an ultra run.

Little Sayings

We usually have a bag of Dove dark chocolates around the house. Sometimes with my coffee I like to have a little piece of dark chocolate. Every piece of dark chocolate is individually wrapped, and each wrapper has a little saying on the inside. Here are a few examples:

• Promise yourself more moments like this.
• Share a smile with someone you love.
• Push yourself to notice the extraordinary in the ordinary.

Aubrey and I like these little sayings. Sometimes she'll leave one of the wrappers on my desk in front of the keyboard. Sometimes I'll leave one on her desk. It's a fun little game we play.

Then, one day I opened up my wrapper and found this saying:

• Wink at a stranger today while you're driving.

That kind of gave me the creeps. Most messages are pretty mild. But this one bothered me a little. I can't put my finger on it, but it felt sleazy and creepy. Something about just randomly winking at a stranger threw me for a bit of a loop. I've never been one for flirting with strangers, so maybe it's just me.

At any rate, I started thinking about how funny it would be to come up with intentionally creepy or cryptic messages to go inside my own Dove chocolate wrappers.

Here are some I thought of:

• One little punch can ruin a pretty mouth.
• You won't hear the clown's laughter after you're dead.
• Smile! It might be your last chance.

Think of some of your own creepy wrapper sayings. Feel free to post them in our comments here. Or post them to your own blog. This is kind of inspired by the short short story, which Hemingway made famous with his six word short story, which goes like this:

For sale: Baby shoes, Never worn.

Yes that's the entire story.

Post away.

Disfarmer

I just posted this over on the Embarrassment of Riches blog, but I thought I'd put it here, too. I think Mike Disfarmer is uber-cool.

Mike Disfarmer was an American photographer known for his simple, solemn portraits of working class folk. Born, Mike Meyers, in Arkansas to German immigrant farmers, he changed his name to Disfarmer to symbolize his break from his family's agricultural background. Disfarmer led a quiet, mysterious life in his hometown of Heber Springs, Arkansas, where he operated a portrait studio. He offered penny portraits to working class people. These portraits managed to capture the raw, simple essence of the hard-working agrarian people of Arkansas.

From what I gather, Disfarmer died, and the contents of his photography studio were purchased by a man who thought they might be worth something someday. He held onto the negatives until the 1970s, when he sold them all for $1. In the late 1970s, these negatives were cleaned and new original photographs were made. Since then, many people have worked hard to promote and uncover Disfarmer's work. Today, the Disfarmer Project works to preserve and share Mike Disfarmer's portraits of middle America.

When I look at Disfarmer's work, I feel as though it draws me back in time. It helps shed a little perspective on the people of rural middle America, and it helps transport me into the lives of the people of rural America of the 1930s and 1940s.

Good-bye Kavitha

Local news outlets are reporting that Kavitha Cardoza will be leaving WUIS soon to take a job for WAMU, a Washington D.C.-based NPR affiliate station. Congratulations Kavitha! You're a great journalist and you deserve all the best. You will be missed.

I actually think my ears might cry.

Review: Charles and Limey's

I was hoping that I could write a nice review of a new downtown restaurant this week. After all, John and I are always looking to promote new and interesting places in Springfield. Joining me and Amy at Charles and Limey’s was John, Aubrey, Reginald and his wife Lady Matilda. We were all looking forward to a lovely evening of appetizing food and engaging conversation. Charles and Limey’s is located at 620 South First Street in the Vinegar Hill area where Remy’s Steakhouse and Capitol City Steakhouse used to be. The location is nice and the menu includes many options with steak and seafood being the main attraction. The interior provides a comfortable setting for good dining and there is a bar for those who choose to have a drink before sitting down to dinner.

The evening started out nicely as we were politely seated and given our choices of drink. I started with some Graham’s Vintage Port (maybe ’03) while Amy had a delicious chocolate martini. I know, I know, you don’t start meals off like that but that’s how we roll. All the others at the table had various drinks and it seemed all was going well. After a few minutes with drinks, we ordered. Two of the entrees served turned out to be really good.

Amy ordered the Chicken Marsala and it was very good.

John ordered the Ostrich Steak and it was great. John allowed me and Reginald to sample. We all agreed that it was the best. It was a really tender and lean steak. Ostrich should be on more menus.

Lady Matilda ordered a crusted rice and shrimp dish. It got mixed reviews. It was not what she had expected and I get the impression that even though it wasn’t too bad, she would not order it again.

Reginald ordered one of the many steaks on the menu. I didn’t hear of any complaints. It seemed like just an average steak.

Aubrey ordered one of the steaks but it was not cooked to order like is advertised in the menu. Her steak was well-done while she ordered medium-rare. This is important because a big part of the menu describes each level of preparedness for the steak and what it should look like.

I ordered the flat iron steak at medium-well. I got between medium-rare and rare. I always feel bad doing it but I had to send it back to get a re-cooked. It did not come back as a better steak. And if you’re wondering, Aubrey and I had different cuts and sides so the two plates weren’t mixed up.

Forgive me for not remembering the names of the dishes. The menu is not available online which is one of several things they should really work on. Our waitress was nice, but maybe overwhelmed. One of my biggest complaints with “nice” restaurants is that they make their waiters and waitresses memorize what you order. When you have a party of four or more, 75% of the time you will have problems. I really don’t care that a place thinks it looks tacky to have someone writing down orders. That’s an area where the roadside diners still do it right. So please write down the orders.

The desserts were adequate. No complaints there. I believe it was Banana’s Foster and a Strawberry Custard dish. Again, names would help but I can’t remember.

Maybe the biggest problem was at the end of the night when we got the bill. The bills were all mixed up. We asked to split up the bills which appeared to be a problem but she complied with that request. However, in complying with that request, she mixed up couples. That’s not unique with the “memorization method” because I ended up being married to Aubrey and John to Amy at Sebastian’s the week before. This week I was married to Lady Matilda. It’s an all too common problem but a big problem nonetheless. The realization of the price for the meal and service hit after 15 minutes of trying to settle up. Our bills ranged from $90-$130. There were a couple drinks on each bill which always raises the price but we had never paid that much for a meal in Springfield. 20% gratuity was included.

All in all, it wasn’t good. We understand that perfection doesn’t come without trials. Ross Isaac had troubles with their service in the beginning but the food was good enough to come back. R.I. is a great place to eat. It’s not cheap either, but it’s good for a nice meal out. I sincerely hope Charles and Limey’s is a place that gets much better within the next couple months. It's wants to be a premier steak and seafood place and does have a unique menu but there are many other steak and seafood places to choose from in the area and even downtown. Our party agreed that we want them to succeed but there is much work to do including the creation of an internet site. Unfortunately, at that price, I can’t afford to keep taking part in the trials.