Life's Been Better

According to the SJ-R, Joe Walsh was just announced as an act at the State Fair this year.

I like Joe Walsh. I have nothing against Joe Walsh, but he's not going to draw me to the fair. I'm sorry, but I just don't feel like the concert planners at the state fair are really trying. I mean, I can't imagine any meeting where the best idea for a concert draw would be Joe Walsh. There are so many acts from Joe's time period that would be better.

So we're faced with this lineup for this year's state fair.

What are we, Arkansas? (No offense, Arkansas.) We can do better than this. I really don't understand why it's so difficult for this town to draw decent music acts. Do Central Illinoisans really have such horrible music taste that this is what we're faced with?

Who the eff is planning this crap?

Damnnnnn!

This lady really lets Springfield have it. On the surface this appears to be your typical horseshoe review, as experienced by an outsider. I mean, who wouldn't jump into an article entitled "Horseshoe Heaven" with a certain amount of joy and frivolity.

But just a few paragraphs in, she really tears into our beloved Springfield:

Springfield -- a town less than half Madison's size -- frankly looks a bit down on its heels. Just a few blocks from the Illinois State Capitol, there are wonderful 19th century homes boarded up. The old flats of the student ghetto in downtown Madison can look pretty scruffy, but there's obviously life and activity in them. Springfield reminded me of the nasty version of Bedford Falls that Jimmy Stewart encounters when he's stumbling around in the alternate future.

I mean, I can't say that I don't agree with Ms. Falkenstein, but I'm from here which gives me the ability to whine and moan about how bad here is. It's kind of like how you can pick on your siblings, but you don't dare let anyone else pick on them. That Bedford Falls comparison really hurts, lady!

Then, Ms. Falkenstein really gets into the heart of her horseshoe review. I'm preparing myself to watch Springfield's reputation be saved by this bar-food masterpiece we call horseshoe. She shows she's done a little research, as she identified D'Arcy's as the place to get the finest horseshoe in Springfield. So, I'm anxiously awaiting her review of the D'Arcy's shoe, which is also a favorite of mine. But then she drops this bomb:

Unfortunately, I did not get my Horseshoe at The Pint. I got mine at a modest family restaurant called Woody's in El Paso, Illinois, just off I-39, on the way to Springfield. The best I can say for Woody's version is that the turkey was real turkey.

WTF? Woody's? El Paso? Turkey? Are you kidding me? I'm sorry, but a turkey horseshoe in El Paso does not count. No wonder she was disappointed.

Why, might you ask, did she decide to forgo the D'Arcy's horseshoe? Well, naturally because in the process of reviewing the horseshoe, she wanted to stop at The Magic Kitchen, which she only went on to complain about. I love The Magic Kitchen, but why would you write an entire food review on a horseshoe and the places that serve them when you haven't even actually tried it (no I'm not giving credit for that El Paso turkey shoe).

Horseshoes, as Ms. Falkenstein so aptly points out, are really only known here in Central Illinois. So, instead of coming to Central Illinois and actually trying this unique food, she went for the Thai. Thai food is offered all over the place.

It's kind of like if I went to NYC for the sole purpose of reviewing Carnegie Deli's pastrami sandwich but instead I ate at a Subway and complained about the pollution.

Ms. Falkenstein, you must be the worst food critic in the world. Stay on topic next time, please.

What Would Abe Do?

I thought it would be fun to juxtapose quotes from some of our local leaders of today with a picture of Abraham Lincoln. Lincoln had such a way with words that some of the blunderings of our current leaders just look like verbal diarrhea. Today's quote comes from Mayor Davlin's new brainstorm for helping the homeless. Come on, kids! Juxtaposition is fun.

Mario-Kart: Springfield Track

On one of our recent shows, Micah asked me to describe a Mario Kart track using the streets of Springfield. Basically, just to define the circuit that I would love to drive in a game of Mario Kart, using the streets of Springfield. I loved this question.


Here was my answer.

The course starts at the intersection of Hedley and White Oaks West. Everyone knows how I hate that intersection. From there, it heads south and then turns east onto Wabash. As you head east down Wabash, tornadoes pop up randomly and wipe out the surrounding area so beware. At the MacArthur intersection, you turn left, and head north on MacArthur. Here you encounter a long, strip of urban blight, symbolized by old Venture shopping carts that blow out into the street, impeding your progress. Also, this stretch of road is clogged with asshole drivers who drive with their turn signal on through several intersections, drive right next to the driver in the next lane so as to completely hog the road, and slow down or even stop at green traffic signals.

At South Grand, the course again turns east as you head toward downtown. This is where the pothole portion of the course begins. Look out as monster potholes stand in your way. At Sixth Street, you head North through downtown Springfield, where men in business suits jaywalk with aplomb. Additionally, look out for the Abraham Lincoln impersonators wandering around and the mobs of angry smokers spilling out into the street and littering.

At Jefferson, you head west and speed your way out of downtown until you reach Veterans Parkway. At Veterans, you head south, where you will encounter the heaviest traffic thus far in the course. At Iles, you turn west until you reach White Oaks West. It is during this stage of the course that you encounter the pitfalls of poor city planning, as the horribly constructed parking lots and intersection work against you to clog and congest the roadways with angry and disgruntled drivers. At White Oaks West, you turn south and head back for the blasted intersection with Hedley.

Three times through, and you're finished.

That's mine. What's yours? Give me an explanation of your Springfield-themed Mario Kart track.

Movie Geeks Club: An Indecent Proposal

Tonight's screening of Leon (The Professional) will take place tonight at 7:30 at Capital City Bar and Grill. I'd like to get a show of hands as to who is planning to attend tonight. If you plan to attend, please drop us a comment and let us know.

Additionally, in an effort to draw out the local blogger crowd, if you have a local blog, and you post about the Movie Geeks Club today, we'll buy you a drink. The only catch is, you have to be in attendance tonight.

Thanks Russ.

p.s. This has nothing to do with Robert Redford, Woody Harrelson, or Demi Moore.

Movie Geeks Club for Tuesday May 29

I'd first like to start by saying thanks to all the people who show up every month for Movie Geeks Club. It's always nice to see everyone, and I do feel like we're starting to develop a small community of people who get together for good movies and good times.

Tuesday, May 29 the Movie Geeks Club will be screening Leon, aka The Professional, starring Jean Reno, Gary Oldman, and a very young Natalie Portman. This film also features Frank Senger of Springfield. It's always nice to support Springfield natives in film and television.



Come out and join us for an evening of cold drinks, hot food, and movies you won't see on theater screens anywhere else in the area.

Episode 13 Airs Today

Thanks to Nick's late night heroics, Episode 13, including our interview with Jen and Staci from The Writers Block will air today on Access 4 at 11:30 AM and 8:30 PM. Set your VCRs!!!

This was the second show we taped before a live studio audience, and as you will see, we all decided to cut loose and have a good time.

Episode 12 Now Available Online

I've just uploaded Episode 12, which includ our interview with Jessica English. You can now watch it right here, or by using the Show Archive on the right hand side of the page.

Review of Last Night's Taping

Last night's show went incredibly well, considering I tried to do the whole thing by myself. Maybe it's something you can get used to if you do it enough, but it felt really weird to not have Micah there with me. There's something very comfortable about knowing if you don't have anything to say, someone else will talk for awhile.


The interview with Kavitha Cardoza was so awesome. Kavitha is an incredibly warm and kind person. And so smart. She said she was nervous before going on the air, but I felt like she helped put me at ease. I was incredibly happy to have the opportunity to talk to Kavitha, and I hope she enjoyed the show as much as I did.

As for the rest of the show, I opened the show with a phone call to Micah where I reveal to him that I have decided to tape a show without him. He was none too happy and gave me an on-air tongue lashing that would give Sue Ellen Ewing a run for her money.

Then I went to a little segment I like to call "Springfield Personalities and their Celebrity Twins." Basically, this is a little segment where I take a local celebrity, a Jerry Lambert, if you will, and I find their more famous look-alike (aka their twin). This can make for an interesting and humorous time, and it always generates conversation. Watch this show with your friends and discuss. I think there are some real gems in this edition of "Springfield Personalities and their Celebrity Twins.1"

As always, we couldn't have done it without the help of the access 4 crew. Thanks ladies and gentlemen.

1Thanks John and Trina.

New Show Taping Tonight

Tonight we're taping a show with Kavitha Cardoza, Bureau Chief for WUIS 91.9, our local NPR affiliate. We've been trying to get Kavitha on the show for some time now, but we've always had scheduling conflicts. She's booked to come on the show tonight for an interview and an all-around celebration of good times.

Unfortunately Micah is out of town this week so he won't be at the taping. It'll just be 1 guy tonight. I hated to do a taping without Micah, but I also hated to let a taping slot pass us by. I talked it over with him, and he seemed cool with the idea of me attempting to hold a show down by myself. I plan to honor Micah's absence in some way, although I haven't figured out how yet.

Additionally, I've booked some editing time tonight so hopefully I can get the final edits done to the show we taped with The Writer's Block. We taped the show about a month ago, but I haven't been able to find the time in my schedule to get all the edits taken care of. I should be able to wrap that show up tonight.

Oh Boy

Tourism officials here in our great city of Springfield are taking a bold measure to attract fans of The Simpsons to our great Springfield-like Springfield. That's right, they've "considered making some kind of pamphlet" to compare the cartoon Springfield to our living, breathing Springfield. That's right people, a pamphlet. You might recall that before the Almighty God delivered the 10 Commandments on stone tablets, He also considered a pamphlet. I mean, this is exciting news. When something goes into a pamphlet, there's just no refuting it.

The only obstacle to the pamphlet plan, however, is actually doing it. Kim Rosendahl of the Springfield Convention and Visitors Bureau, in a totally Simpsons' like quote, has said, "We're talking about that, if there is a way to do that. So you know, nothing firmly established but we'll see what happens."

This move to make a pamphlet might be the most Simpsons-like thing our city has ever done. I mean, can't you just imagine Mayor Quimby putting together a crack team of locals to assemble a tourism pamphlet that compares their Springfield to an even more totally fictional place?

p.s. This is my second post today where I used the phrase "living, breathing."

Hey Everybody

I haven't been posting much lately. That's about equal parts not having the time and not really having the motivation to write anything. Every time I think I'm going to write something, I'll say to myself, "Would anyone really care?" I usually decide that, no, no one would care, so I decide to scrap it.

At any rate, I keep coming back to this story about the little boy with spiders in his ears. WTF! I mean, seriously, I can't believe this kid had spiders habitating inside his living, breathing head. I mean, they had set up camp just outside the kid's brain, and it doesn't seem to bother him one bit. I don't really have a problem with spiders, but I wouldn't want one living inside of me. I can remember when I first heard that statistic of the average number of spiders that people eat during sleep during their lifetimes, I had serious doubts about sleeping. The thought of spiders dancing all over my face at night, and me totally unawares. Yikes!



I finally got over that fear and got back to sleep. Now we hear that spiders have taken the battle to a new level. They've finally found a way to invade the body and not be instantly consumed. And from what I hear, these spiders were living the high life in the kid's head. Who knows how long they would have made it if their constant dancing on his eardrums hadn't finally annoyed him enough to see a doctor?

Most Watched Films: Men vs. Women

John and I have been very busy lately so blogging has been limited. I thought I would throw this interesting statistic out there from the Daily Mail (UK). While I have seen all of the films in the Men's category, I find that I have cumulatively seen more films from the Women's category. That's including the fact that I have never seen three of the films in the Women's category. (Grease, Sound of Music and Pretty Woman)

I don't know what to make of it but it is interesting. Do other people agree?

Top 10 Most Watched Films By Women
1 Dirty Dancing (Avg. 15 times)

2 Star Wars trilogy

3 Grease

4 The Sound of Music

5 Pretty Woman

6 The Lord of the Rings trilogy

7 It's A Wonderful Life

8 The Terminator

9 The Matrix

10 Jaws

Top 10 Most Watched Films By Men
1 Star Wars trilogy (Avg. 20 times)

2 Aliens

3 The Terminator

4 Bladerunner

5 The Godfather

6 Alien

7 Jaws

8 Die Hard

9 Terminator 2: Judgment Day

10 The Lord of the Rings trilogy

Estradasphere

Just when you think you've got music figured out, a band like Estradasphere comes along. If you like avant-garde world fusion, then Estradasphere is for you. This song Hunger Strike is one of my favorites. I like how they can take you from boppy Middle Eastern dance music to naptime to preparing for an apocalyptic war.

Enjoy.

p.s. The drum solo is fricking insane.

Sitar a Spell

I found these videos on youtube, and I'm very interested in this story. If you dig Indian music, you'll love this. Even if you don't, I think you have to have respect for what this guy's trying to do.

I think the sitar is a beautiful instrument, and I love it anytime someone tries to break down traditional barriers. Plus, he's got mad skills.

Here's a trailer for a movie about Andrew Mendelson's attempt to compete on the sitar in India's largest music competition:


Here's a jam session with Andrew:

The Simpsons Movie

Okay, so let's say for a second that Springfield gets to host the premiere of The Simpsons Movie. Where the heck would we hold it? Discuss.

Stories of Abraham Lincoln

The people of Springfield certainly knew Abe Lincoln.

ABE'S HAIR NEEDED COMBING.

"By the way," remarked President Lincoln one day
to Colonel Cannon, a close personal friend, "I can tell
you a good story about my hair. When I was
nominated at Chicago, an enterprising fellow thought
that a great many people would like to see how Abe
Lincoln looked, and, as I had not long before sat for a
photograph, the fellow, having seen it, rushed over and
bought the negative.

"He at once got no end of wood-cuts, and so active was
their circulation they were soon selling in all parts of the
country.

"Soon after they reached Springfield, I heard a boy crying
them for sale on the streets. 'Here's your likeness of Abe
Lincoln!' he shouted. 'Buy one; price only two shillings! Will
look a great deal better when he gets his hair combed!"'