Stupid Harmonicas

I saw this story about 400 harmonicas being donated to the troops in Iraq, and after my initial heartwarming wore off, it made me wonder, Are people actually going to be uplifted by this gesture? I mean, come on, they're HARMONICAS! Did I miss something? Is it suddenly 1930 again? Are our soldiers planning to hobo it around Iraq on their pass weekends? What the hell is going on here?
If I were a soldier in Iraq, and I opened a care package to find a harmonica, I have to be honest and tell you I'd be pretty disappointed. Maybe I'd be expecting a pack of Starburst or a pair of new socks. Instead, I tear open the package to see that I'm stuck with a freaking harmonica. Then I'm either going to toss it into the nearest garbage can or into the hands of an Iraqi child who, after the initial awe of receiving a strange gift from an American soldier, will inevitably be swept over with the same sense of disappointment that I was.

I've never been a fan of harmonicas. When I see a musician pull a harmonica out of his/her pocket, I generally turn and head for the nearest exit. I just think they sound horrible. Even the most proficient harmonica player playing the most expensive harmonica in the world sounds only slightly better than a wet-mouthed 3-year-old salivating away on a dimestore harmonica. I've heard noise musicians play sheet metal with a pair of garden shears that made nicer sounds than a harmonica.

Back to the story of the donated harmonicas. The only way one should ever take possession of a harmonica is if it is given to you by a stranger (like these poor GIs) or an old senile relative, and you just don't feel right saying, "No thanks." And most importantly, you should never pay good, hard-earned money for a harmonica.