Friday, July 07, 2006

The Pizza Machine

Vinegar Hills Mall has a new restaurant called The Pizza Machine. This place is wicked awesome for two reasons:
1. It has a pizza crane. That's right, I said a pizza crane, people. A pizza crane that can lift and hoist pizzas accross the chasm of despair in the heart of that building.
2. It dares people to consume its 40-inch pizza. Just so you know, my kitchen table is only about 38 inches in diameter, and it's plenty big.

So, my cousin, Eric, and a friend of his, Ryan, both considered manbeasts of the we-can-eat-a-ton-of-food world, sat down on Wednesday to attempt the 40-incher. Here's the deal: if any two people can eat the whole pizza you get a $500 cash prize and the pizza's on the house. Eric and Ryan were convinced they could be the first dynamic duo to actually eat the entire thing. Sadly, they were only able to eat about 1 quarter of it. They decided pretty early on that eating the entire thing might be considered suicide. The crust was too thick and dense to be able to pack much of it away. So they gave up before they made themselves sick and called it a day. Hey, I guess a true sport knows when to say, "Enough is enough."

Afterward, they split the remaining pizza and each took 1/2 home. Eric came by the house on his way home to let me see the monster. I'm not kidding you, the pizza he was lugging home weighed at least 10 pounds. So 1/2 of 3/4 of a pizza weighs 10 pounds. A full 3/4 weighs 20 pounds. Therefore, the full pizza weighs roughly 25 pounds. Now you know why they need a crane!

I tasted the pizza, and it was quite good. I would certainly go there to eat a pizza and watch some fools try to devour a 25 pound pizza. The Pizza Machine is located in the Vinegar Hills Mall on Cook.

7 comments:

Dave said...

How much does one of these monster pizzas cost? Perhaps I could buy one and feed teh family for a week.

Dave
The Eleventh Hour

John said...

Eric and Ryan spent $75. I think the base price is $60, and then it's $5 for each additional topping. I think the guy at the pizza place said you can feed a family of ten on the thing. And you can get different sections of it with different toppings. Essentially you could just make it a buffet pizza.

The 26th Man said...

Yeah, but how's the pizza?

John said...

The pizza tastes great. I sampled a little of it that day. If you've ever had Leo's Pizza in Jacksonville, it has a very similar flavor. I think the crust is perfectly seasoned, as is the sauce. It's one of the better pizzas I've tasted in the Springfield area.

Anonymous said...

Has anyone been able to complete it? and I was wondering if anyones got tips for me and my friend who are going to try it out?

John said...

Anon-

As far as I know, no one has ever been able to do it. In all honesty, I don't think it's humanly possible. The crust on this pizza is so heavy that I don't think a human stomach can take it.

Good luck.

John

Andrea said...

A pair of college students from Chicago have eaten the entire pizza. But they are the only ones to have completed the task.

I am also a fan of the pizza machine. If you haven't been there yet or are planning another trip back I would strongly reccommend the Stuffed pizza. It is even more amazing than the thin and thick crust pizzas that they have.